NovaVox Within

I see the distant land that I seek now. Having chased so many mirages, and gotten to know them well, the outline of this future land is suddenly sharp enough to be perceived. It hangs in a violet haze just above the horizon.

The perspective I hold in my mind right now is of the mountain climber who simply knew how to hang on, while earth around his mountain sank away. I am not yet at the summit. The peek lies somewhere off in that distant and future land. I scale the spine of this part of monolith's spine. When I reach the top of this region, I will do the sobering march of the Knife's Edge...my Katahdin dance.

It is the day after Irene - the non-hurricane - but a blustery, fall-like crispness penetrates the air. All the rain has been dried up by the wind; tears leaving only imprints, desiccated impressions...

Autumn is on it's leisurely way. Leaves are blowing in little whirlwinds and then gathering in the low spots. Portland is quiet and peaceful, seemingly having been cleansed from a hard night of drinking, after a long day of waiting in the wind. When Iwallked home last night the power lines were buzzing. Thick cables were straining with a power on the inside that is crying to be free.

It is this energy, that is beginning to burst its seems. Light is pouring through the tiny cracks in what I have accepted as "here." I must admit to myself that it is so much more... It is also "Now." My denial of the higher ground; the futile and sentimental need to have things remain the same - at the material level - is receding from my life. There is no escape from the Light Storm that is coming, when the last bit of the concrete dam(n) fails utterly. But I don't want to escape anyway. Precious... fleeting, fickle, unreal, draining... time. Energy is filling time. The transformation from matter into spirit (the most Primal energy) IS the escape.

We are currently only "aware" of one kind of energy in the universe: physical/material release of the bound-up power in the nucleus of the atom. To let the beast off of its material leash is an awesome spectacle to behold. Take a plutonium implosion and add in some very clever focusing of that fission reaction to actually fuse hydrogen, increasing the yield of the subsequent nuclear explosion by a factor of three; from the kiloton range, into the megaton range. This is energy too (fission is powerful and fusion is even more powerful), of course, but even as impressive as nuclear energy is, it pales in comparison to the power of the mind that controls it--pre/post-nuclear.  It is the mind-over-matter and the spirit-over-mind...

This being said, the energy I am beginning to see is made of something that humans have refused to contemplate on mass-social levels. And it has barely been able to keep the less-powerful (nuclear) beast hooked to its rusting lease. It is on this mountain-side that I have become aware of a way to even the equation.

Even if it is only in my own life, the energy of the Nova within is allowing me to transform along with it. It took (and will continue to take) this long, long walk, along the natural but uncertain shores of what we've left behind for me to re-gather the still-important aspects for myself and, I pray, for others too. I seem to be one of many now who need to shed the dead-skin of an antiquated vision. I keep running into "the others" who cling to the same cliff. And they agree, if we are all doing it at the same time individually, surely we can do it even more effectively, together.
Old things are passing away.
Behold, all is becoming New. In a month summer will be over and I will be in a new location. The coming of the cooler, drier days heralds the frost-breath of the deeper, darker cycles. But I know that I have friends now, and just how generous they can be. If I did not feel cared-for, there would be little reason to get up each day and resume the work of understanding this new reality.

Because I am with my friends in spirit, I truly feel for the friendless, the voiceless. They line the walls, stairways and alleys of my path. But they speak to me. Somehow that is good enough for them; stewing in the juices of a cauldron of desolation and separation. These homeless, mentally ill, physiologically addicted kings and queens; they are in hell, but somehow closer to heaven.

I can't go that far--suffering in silence. That is not my destination. But I can bring their story to you. And I can TRY to bring you to them. And - God willing - in that process the energy of souls "becoming new" will be released...from both sides of the social spectrum.  Unfurling this flower of Light takes the water of cooperation, soaking into the rich, well composted soil of experience, but can only be aerated by a signifiant measure of courage, on everyone's part.

Soon I embark on what should be a new business. But it is likley I will continue to struggle with doubt and a definite lack of material resources, until it is set in motion. I promise you this though: given the monetary chance of this potential to give back to my world, I will not fail to throw myself into the process. And if it is not to be, so be it not.  Only a sudden and unexpected event of some kind will stop me. You know the way these things work. When one is finally fueled up and ready to drive forward, it is usually the blind turn that spells any sudden and/or tragic stop.  But, again, that is not my concern. If the sign is missing, the turn will inevitably still come no matter how diligent I am, and, frankly, I know now that would simply be another means of escape--perhaps, the most merciful kind.  So, I am not afraid.

Increasing energy, decreasing the significance of time with the grandeur of Now-consciousness, exteriorizing the soul, living more simply and eliminating the desire for "things," getting to know the ways of nature - as well as the other members of the human family, valuing hope, honoring reality, being instructed from within, expanding awareness, fighting for unity, while preserving diversity ...and... all the while, becoming more and more immune to disappointment... I WILL.

The Portland Public Library just opened and I have to move on...again. In the morning sunshine I notice the sound of two gold coins clink together in my pocket. And I smile for a moment as Iwallk on...