Manifest Destiny: America from the Bottom Up - 81 - Sedona, AZ - Seven Stars Dream

Last night was definitely a low point. My faith in myself was tested severely. And though nothing could sway my faith in the Universe, it was truly "a dark night of the soul" for me personally.

I didn't think I'd sleep, but sleep came swiftly when I laid my head down at about 12:00 am. And I began to dream. I remember this dream extremely well, hence the details. I have a great memory for detail anyway (just ask Glenn Romines Jr.!). But this made an extraordinary impression on me. Maybe it was due to the psychological stress I'd been experiencing; the uncertainty of my next step toward the final goals of my journey? I honestly don't know. But here it is as best as I can remember...

* * * * * * *

I was on a rock, precariously balanced in the middle of a swirling sea. I had a bunch of paper money in my hand, so much that I could not put it in my pocket. Bills kept falling into the water. Then without any transition time I found myself on a street with the cash, walking as fast as I could.

A group of people followed just behind me. They weren't trying to get the money. It was as if they were attempting to make sure I didn't lose any of it. Still, bills fell off the pile in my hands. A few ladies following picked them up and ran back to me to give them over. I didn't even need or want the extra money. But they stuffed it back onto the pile and then receded back behind me. I guess much of this is interpretable.

Finally I reached a house that I recognized very well in the dream, though I'd never seen it in my waking life. I walked in and the money was gone. It was actually nice not to have it as a burden to keep track of anymore.

Inside was a couple that I knew in the dream world, but again have never met in my waking life. He was short, plump, black, but with blue eyes. She was also heavy-set, black, with light brown eyes. They welcomed me.

Somehow I knew that I had been there before. Everything was like a deja vu. But I clearly knew that I had visited them before--maybe in another dream from long ago?

They showed me around their house. It was really cool. It rested on a mountain side above a lake. It was small, but well-appointed. Mission and arts and crafts-style furniture was everywhere. It was as if they had collected it all over a long period of time.

I told them that I had been there before. The guy laughed unbelievingly, and his wife chuckled too. They made me some herbal tea. It smelled strongly of roses. It was hot and I sipped it carefully. They were acting like they'd known I was coming for a long time. They'd straightened up their house in anticipation of my arrival.

In this dream - which didn't seem like a dream - I was a traveler from far away, existing sheerly on the generosity of others (ring any bells?). I was like a Buddhist monk. In the east a monk is not allowed to earn money. He only survives by relying on other people.

But I had a great Mission to bring news from one part of the world to another. I didn't feel that way, but they treated me that way, with great respect and generosity.

They sat intently looking at me as if I was supposed to tell them something. And, without thinking much about it, I began to speak...

I have no idea where the words came from (something like when I write to you all). I said, "There is One who travels space and time, somewhat in the same way that I travel along the road. He visits the planets of space like I visit you. He is coming to OUR world and I am here to announce his arrival."

Again, I had no idea why I said these things. They certainly sounded much like what I've said here at Facebook. But somehow they were more intense, and like a living thing, they seemed to dance and swirl around the room. Words...sound...like a song.

This couple was greatly intrigued and asked for more. I remember distinctly saying, "You who have waited so long for a cultural leader are about to receive your blessing. I have no idea where or when he will appear, but he will give hope to both believers and non-believers alike. He comes for EVERYONE."

I was greatly surprised by the words coming out of my mouth. They certainly weren't my own. I felt small, like an animal who had no way out of the room. I felt backed into a corner, but somehow proud that I was able to say such strange things.

The wife blushed a little, through her dark skin. The husband was silent and turned his head to look out their great plate glass window.

Then things began to change. Each of them got up to pull the curtains aside. The lake was ripped across the top of its waves with a strong wind. It was a phenomenon that we Mainers sometimes call "snow caps." They are waves beaten over by gusts to look white on their tips.

I knew what was about to happen, because I also knew that I'd been there before. It was as if I had come from a few years in the future to relive a visit with these folks. I got up and walked over to the man, who was intent at staring out the window. "Storm..." he said quietly.

I said that I had been there before and tried to get him to believe me. He just wouldn't. This exchange was, maybe, back in the 1980's? I could tell by the pictures of their family members along the walls. All of the kids were white (Caucasian) and the girls had big puffy mall hair. You know what I'm talking about! The time before every woman began letting her hair grow straight. Anyway...

I put my hand on his and he looked at me. Our faces were close together and I said, "Would you believe that I come from a time when America elected a black President?" He laughed loudly! He just wouldn't believe me, no matter how intently I proposed the idea. Behind us his wife was closing windows and the storm was sending blasts of wind around the edges of the house so strongly that it whistled notes that were almost musical.

I looked at his face and could see every pore, even the little hairs under his nose. I gave up trying to convince them and walked back over to my tea and sat down. I said, "The storm will grow stronger and your deck will collapse." They took this seriously for some reason. I laid down on their sofa and fell asleep for a few moments.

When I awoke, I was in a totally different place. It was our old family camp on Lake Winnipesaukee in New Hampshire. Mike Thurlow was standing over me. And Jessica Thurlow was in the small kitchen cooking something. Mike was joking around and poking me with a broom handle.

The storm REALLY raged outside now. It seemed to be the only hold-over from the last episode of my dream. The other couple was gone.

The sliding glass door was fully open and the wind was so powerful that it was sucking blankets and even the rug up against the screen door. I jumped up and pulled them off. But it was hard to do. There was a plastic tote storage box on the deck and the top flew off of it. I quickly opened the door and grabbed it. But the wind was relentless. It ripped the plastic top from my hands and I saw it fly out across the property toward the lake. I felt the floor buckling.

It was like being inside a tornado but one that was the size of the whole lake. I looked at Mike and Jessica and they seemed suddenly very serious. We walked out on to the rocking and swaying deck. There was a deck above us that shook for a moment and then collapsed down in front of us, with wood pieces flying everywhere and then being stripped from the property and blown out into the boiling lake.

I said to myself, "I knew that would happen." I was no longer back in time. It was the present day. Such are the dimensions of dreams. They overlap and make sense while they are occurring, but they are ridiculous when examined in hindsight.

I got sleepy again and went back inside to sit down. I simply could not stay awake. I kept opening my eyes and being in a new place. Finally I rallied and found myself sitting on the edge of a hillside. Below me was a great valley not unlike being on the the side of a canyon in Arizona. The Thurlows were gone, so was the New Hampshire scene.

It was sunny and clouds were low, sweeping across the tops of the mesas; cleansing them--I thought at the time.

Far in the distance I saw a city teaming with people. I could barely make them out. They all went about their busy lives. It looked like some were saying goodbye to their spouses and children and climbing into their cars to go to work. Beyond that, WAY out on the horizon, I saw a highway. It was the bloodstream of society. Cars moved in single file, at high rates of speed, like cells traveling to the organs of human life. They turned off into the capillaries that fed separate businesses.

I thought about how lovely this world is. Yes, we have screwed with it. The unthinking among us have even poisoned and destroyed some of its most beautiful natural treasures. But I knew that what has been a human scar of industrial pollution, the tearing down of mountains, the chemicals that catch rivers on fire - all these things upon the face of the planet - were only a passing phase. They needed to occur in order for the Next Stage to rectify things.

I looked down at the glistening sunlight on the multicolored sand between my hiking boots and I saw each grain as if it was a star in the sky. They looked close together, but the more I moved my head toward them, the further apart they seemed to be.

Then...

I looked back up into the blue sky above the desert. And I saw what I think were seven bright stars just under the sun. The middle one (number four) was ejecting something. The clouds of light blew off of it in concentric waves, like a supernova... And I heard some very loud noise, like low trumpet blasts through a microphone that was turned up too high.

I gasped...

A shiver went down and then back up my spine. I swear to you that the same involuntary voice came out of my mouth as what had happened with the black couple.
I said, "He's here."

* * * * * * *

I woke to see the TV hanging on the wall. I wasn't sure if I was still dreaming. I had no idea where I was. Then the memory of the real world seeped back into my consciousness.

Shit! I'm in the motel room, and have a HUGE walk ahead of me. I thought - though things would later change for the better - that I would be walking uphill to Flagstaff for the next three days, in the rain, retracing a path I thought I'd never have to go by again. My heart sank.

I looked at the digital clock. It was 4:20 am. It is VERY rare for me to sleep more than two hours from the time I lay down without waking up to pee. But I'd slept over four hours.

I knew I had to be careful, since I would be checking out that morning and my backpack was open with items scattered all over the room. Still a lot to pack up. But I was SO tired. All I wanted to do was shut my eyes and sleep; return to the dream.

I did shut them...and then suddenly awoke...over and over again, worried I would oversleep.

I did have to pee and that became the excuse to get up. Once I was up I clicked the coffee maker on (which I'd loaded up before bed), and the smell of coffee brewing did its thing. Sleep was chased away.

I kept sighing and hating the idea of the walk that lay before me that day. But at some point I simply accepted my fate. And, it's weird, whenever I have been faced with an uncomfortable activity that I simply can't escape from, I feel - all of a sudden - PEACE. When there is no escape, the mind can become calm as a lake after a storm. Interesting. Isn't it?

I turned on my laptop and it showed weird horizontal lines across the screen. Oh f*ck!! This was NOT the time for it to die! With all I faced ahead of me, and such a stressful night before, wouldn't the computer dying just be the icing on the cake?

I clicked the power button off. And while saying "...please work...please work...PLEASE work..." I clicked it back on. It started up without a hitch. I entered my password and Gmail came up. And there, to my utter amazement (after two days of complete silence) was a message from Arizona Shuttle, letting me know that they WOULD accept a reservation made by credit card.

I didn't have a card, but my close "associate" (one who I run to in absolute emergencies and never fails me) did. I contacted her AND Arizona Shuttle (with the cool slogan "We Take You From A to Z"); going between both email threads like a madman. But in no time the arrangement was completed. No long walk was needed, and now I could continue on with my original plan.

What a period of time!

Within 12 or so hours I had gone from intense stress, to a dream world that I still haven't figured out the meaning of, to complete disappointment at waking up in the real world again, to relief and success in resetting my journey.

What else can I say? THESE are the spices of the mission--the Reason why it IS.