The IWALLK Essays - 14. This Beautiful Hell

William Blake

Since normalcy died back in March with the start of the Covid-19 pandemic in America, the strangest sense has been coming over me... 

Or, maybe it was set up by normalcy dying with the election of Donald Trump in 2016? Or, was everything normal until I walked out of a materialist life ruled over by everyone else's expectations for me, way back in 2011 when I started this blog? Whatever the case, the overwhelming feeling is: For some people, nothing ever really gets better and it never will. My life seems to be evidence of such a fate. 

I've been sharpening up my math skills lately and I re-learned the formulas for plotting standard deviation. It struck me suddenly that any series of events fits into that concept. Even when you examine lifetimes - from an admittedly subjective standpoint - being, that of your own experiences, a definite "falling into the curve" occurs. 

I want to be very clear about something... I am not complaining. I am not feeling sorry for myself. There is nothing to feel sorry for and nothing to complain about. Things ARE the way they ARE. Yet, there should be every possible attempt to evaluate the way things ARE. Why not? What else do we have to do?

Just as statistically some people suffer their whole lives and die miserably on one end of the curve, so must some other people be fortunate enough to find a constant satisfaction nearly every day and remain relatively happy until the end of their long, healthy lives. Of course most people's lives lie in between these extremes, with ups and downs; some, more ups, and some, more downs. 

I look at Paul McCartney as an example of a fairly charmed life. He was born handsome, creative, intelligent and extremely talented, at just the right time in history; ended up in the most famous band of all time (The Beatles), and is now considered the most successful musician in history. And to this day, he has never faded from immense popularity. Compare his life with a prepubescent Thai girl who is kidnapped or sold into sexual slavery, is seriously abused and then finally killed at 18 years old. What makes these two human beings so different? Well, just about everything! Only the mean curve connects them, as two sides of the human condition.

Theoretically, they are both "of equal value in the eyes of the Lord." But, they certainly aren't treated that way, theoretically, by the "Lord," presumably--Creator of the entire Universe. Christians claim that only through living life as prescribed by the intercessors and middlemen of Jesus Christ - the ministers, preachers, and priests, etc., whose "Authority" to interpret the Word as God's Holy Bible - will (or might not?) the human seeker have eternal life. 

These intercessors seem to have decided on their own that they be the world's self-appointed, minor Jesuses. Through them, you get to Jesus. But, Jesus himself said to Thomas,  “I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through Me." [King James, John 14:6] Jesus didn't require you to utilize a minister as your interpreter. You were meant to communicate directly with Jesus through prayer, no men-in-robes necessary. But, like the buggy horses put out of business by Henry Ford's Model A, the intercessors between you and God, in this more open-minded age, are losing their energy to the new vehicle of self-aware, truth seeking. 

These used car salesmen of the spirit would have to distort their ideology pretty significantly to let the poor Thai girl get into heaven. They would need to manipulate and rationalize why she should be let in to the purity of heaven after, you know, what she's seen. But, she never went through them--the intercessors, never mind not going through Jesus either. No. I don't buy that it keeps you out of the next life. 

Even Paul McCartney, who once said none of the Beatles believed in God, might have a free pass to Paradise, on his deathbed he will of course realize that the Catholic priest who baptized him as a child was right all along! Or, at least, he knows the difference. Certainly, the Thai girl had no education, no choice in her religious practice or belief system. She didn't know Jesus from any other abusive man, or even what a "god" is. She probably had no idea that life was meant to be anything more than steady pain, punctuated by misery, followed eventually by death. Where does she go when she dies in a loving God's Universe? I mean, she's already been to hell? She was born there, thanks to God working in his "mysterious ways"? Surely the well-formed plans of men in robes have it all mapped out for her?

As a relatively pampered, first world, white-privileged, middle class American, former Protestant male, I've had several opportunities to get into heaven. I've come accidentally close on more than three occasions, and willfully close on a few others. 

My surgeon didn't beat around the bush when he gave me my new life expectancy. He was the guy who literally held and observed my beating heart in his hands. He said I had five-to fifteen years left. That surgery was exactly one year ago. I am seeing the glass of the "waters of life" as half empty now, but I also seem to be intentionally sipping a little off each time before the next measurement.

Being an over-thinker doesn't help. What is this spiritually passive aggressive need to very slowly commit suicide? Why has it afflicted me since I was in my preteens? Clearly, it is a mental illness of some kind. But frankly, compared to some people I know very well - and who can't see their own narcissism and sociopathy - it's a pretty mild case. 

In other words, it only torments me and the people who have to listen (or read) me rant about it. I have never met a highly intelligent human being who had less of a mental illness than I do now. Nevertheless, this seemingly voluntary negativity never fails to keep the water level in that glass pretty low. 

I have railed against wishful thinking and using optimism as a strategy for changing the world. Instead, I work to plan for the worst, while hoping for the best only whenever I am able to relax. It is only now that the end is nearer that I don't even understand what hope is good for anymore; not just with me, but in general. Hope isn't practical. Hope isn't a scheme for success. Hope is a recipe for disappointment. But how does one abandon hope? I'm learning. Perhaps abandoning hope is the final prerequisite to accepting hell. Remember the inscription at the gate of hell in Dante Alighieri's work, Inferno  “…lasciate ogne speranza, vow ch'intrate,” or "...abandon all hope ye who enter here." In fact, it seems that "hope" is very much a trendy kind of faith for atheists and agnostics. We are told by our atheistic brethren that they are sending "good vibes" when we are in trouble. No one stops and stares out into space to ponder just how many ways we continuously contradict our own personal and societal philosophies, singularly and collectively. That's what we do: contradict ourselves. That is the true human condition. So hope is not my answer. It is my hypocrisy.

Conversely, I have to admit that going in the other direction while still functioning in the world of hyper-sensitive society's wide denial of so much that society has inflicted upon itself, is just as stupid. Take it from me, being a "downer" about things all the time is not only a strategy for not impressing people (whilst pushing them away), but builds up a sort of negative patina in layers around the dwindling once shining silver core of one's objective--even when things actually are positive. Here is where I left off... left this world, experienced decades in a Faraway Place, then came back after two earth-hours.

I have tried several times here at the blog to self-psychoanalyze and/or theorize about why my own thinking is so different since that surgery where I left and came back last year. I mentioned that I had a death-like experience (see: "The IWALLK Essays - 7. Meaning in a Faraway Place") that formed whatever I am now. But I wonder sometimes... did I actually "come back"? How would I (or anyone else) know the difference? Cosmology speaks of the "Many Worlds" theory--where every decision splits off into countless alternative universes. Why can't this 2020 shit show be one of them? I think it might be; a special species of hell.

Red flags indicate just such a thing. They are not difficult to find, as you should know. In this universe a global pandemic that is not at all understood even after seven months of intense study is still growing, while America - erupting after 400 years of racism - teeters on the edge of a Second Civil War, and thereby threatens global geopolitics. Even the most powerful (if stupid) man in the world, the President of the United States, has become literally sick, because of his own pretentious hypocrisy. 

Of course, this is all occurring as, millions of species are lost, the oceans are turning into humanity's plastic dumps, and climate change twists and cancels out all predictability from our annual forecasts, threatening all future generations with ever-more destructive weather patterns and sea level rise...

And that is just the "outside" world!

We who didn't look for the difference need to admit to ourselves that everything we ever perceived around us has been limited by (1) our five electrochemical, gross-senses, (2) the material limitations of the human brain to process theses senses, while (3) "feeling" that there is more going on with the Universe than than our gross electrochemical senses can detect--that there are actually more than five senses. Even I agree that there is more than quantum observations of the behavior of leptons and quarks going on. "More Than This." Yes, among all the limitations of our certainty, leave some other things that are amazing and mystical. Physics and quantum mechanics hints at these things. Terence McKenna said that "physics is now to the left of psychology." That means that the most whacked out psychological theories are nothing compared to the bizarre action of nature at the quantum level.

Could it be that at the most precarious moment in surgery I did die. I mean permanently--like you read about? No return?

If I were a devil and was given the power to create the worst hell that could be imagined for the soul of Alex Wall, after life, here's what I would do...

The idea of eternal fire and brimstone is so passé. What you want is a slow, downward sloping curve of more and more intense sensations of failure and loss for as long as possible--in a place where the very concept of time breaks down--like post-Covid 21st Century earth! Do you get what I'm saying? You don't need eternity, if you are able to stretch the last moment between life and death long enough to convince someone that their soul has no business going on to its "eternal reward," you (the devil) win!

Run the graphic curve from today to the end of all things (at least as they are understood by the incomplete human mind). That allows for perfectly synching the arc of high and occasionally pleasant existence into the ultimate bottomless pit of pain and discouragement, and "hopefully" (says the devil) absolute hopelessness; perhaps eventually leading to soul-self-annihilation. 

See where I'm going now? I wish I could think, and not overthink. Indeed, hope is just wishful thinking, but it relies on the number of facts. If the facts are ultimately positive, there was always hope. If the facts are ultimately negative, there was always hopelessness. Hell may be many things, but I think it could include the ultimate subtraction of facts, slowly, over any amount of "time"--through actual experience. What better way to stain the soul with hopelessness and complete the loss of all dignity and will power.

When hope is permanently gone--as the hypothetical devil, having achieved my objective for Alex Wall's situation? I win. And *I* lose. Perfect!

It started with the notion that Alex would choose to come back to one of the available earths from almost dying at surgery to (at least as he thought) "make a difference." He would have one last hoorah and travel around the globe promoting the establishment of the Next Age. But, hark, there is no way to travel now around the nations of this world, especially for Americans, because of America's profound and extreme ignorance (from leaders to individual citizens) in dealing with Covid-19.  How incredibly disappointing.

It took a long time to try to recover from surgery and I am not even now recovered, for many different reasons. Additionally, in June, the closest member of my family suddenly attacked me viscously and under false pretenses to remove me for caring for my mom who I have lived with since surgery. This attack is something I defended myself against, while nobody knew, and even "won," in a relativistic way. But the victory was hollow. I lost a summer, and gained another subspecies of PTSD. There's another point for the devil!

The ratcheting down of my joy for life began with this June attack. During that 90 days of this otherwise beautiful summer, I contemplated and fantasized about suicide many times--day dreaming of it was a daily ritual. I had several panic attacks which has never happened to me before and I had no idea that they would pass. I was not able to work at my consulting job, and became unable to sleep more than a few hours each night, if at all. 

I had been looking forward to a summer working and writing in Maine's natural beauty, tending our little garden, planning my Final IWALLK Journey and enjoying my third shot at life. 

But again, instead, wishful thinking and hope led to disappointment... I have no place at all for hope anymore. As mentioned above, non-emotionally expressing the fact of my heart's natural deterioration to other human beings? I just get a "No way, dude, you'll live to be 100! My Aunt Velma had the same condition, and..." How I fucking hate that so very, very much! The only thing more useless than relying on my own hope is listening to someone else's hope for me. It is it's own kind of nauseation. To unintelligent humans "hope" plays the role of medicine; medicine for other people. 

What I don't want is a remaining lifetime of diminishing hope while ignorant people try to force it upon me. That may be selfish of me, but I'm not sure it hurts anyone else for me to just want to be left the fuck alone in that regard? I guess we'll see. Positivity doesn't happen on it's own. It must be motivated, moved by someone's will.

Once the good intentioned people are in their own little hells maybe they won't have time for tormenting me? Right? But that's what the devil wants Alex Wall to think! Ha! (Okay, done with the third person thing.) That is what he wants me to think, even now. I thought it was all over, when in fact, it has only begun. I can't even claim to be schizophrenic! Somehow I did not pass the test that would let me walk along the positive side of the number line. It's a number line--that's all it should be. Theoretically anything on the right side can be reflected on the left side? But somehow it just isn't. Going down, is going down. Hard to see it as anything else.

Contrary to the way this all sounds, it is a strange and confusing kind of damnation. The beauty I no longer have access to appreciating shines ever more brilliantly in nature's glorious ramparts, as my hope fails more and more completely. Perfect torment. I watch the rest of the people enjoy the sun, and blue skies, the puffy clouds and orange sunsets. They are letting the little things go. But these natural wonders are no longer there for me. I feel nothing, more and more reliably. But I do still see them and appreciate their grandeur; very much so.

For now, this is all a thought experiment. Einstein imagined what it would be like to ride on a photon of light, and thereby better discerned Relativity. The sinking of the soul is just a concept, until it becomes "real." 

If I did end up in hell and the only expectation that Reality has is a test for me is to realize it, I think I have passed my first test. 

So, maybe this world is hell and this hell is my only heaven. Maybe the devil is the only God here. Maybe there are no friends or relatives with me. Maybe they are simply demons. And maybe demons are simply the parts of my mind where the vestiges of hope still cling--trying but failing to be personalities. Maybe the bottomless pit is filled with passing seasons and beautiful sunsets that get more beautiful with each descending step. 

I have decided something though. If I must be here, so here shall I rule!

It is all my hell after all. You folks (the real you) inhabit that other universe I died in last year. So you won't mind if I take over, will you? 

Don't you remember Lucifer's grand statement in Paradise Lost? For now...

"It is better to reign in hell than serve in heaven."

The IWALLK Essays - 13. Can Foresight be 2020?

This is the second part to the last essay, inspired by Larry Cooper’s question…

“Brother Alex , Im curious as to your Thoughts , opinion n Prophecy as to what the future history of 2020 may say . Albeit yes youve stated much of what needs to Be done already , But Will We ?, Or will we / mankind , try to go back to the Old Normal or Actualy CHANGE For the Better , Or Are WE FUBAR . IMO Hope is one thing yet Action is Another . Or Just play the fiddle while Rome & the Titanic Sinks ...The Only Constant Is Change.”

* * *

First, the background and motivation for my ideas…

I have a Spark. You do too. We all have one—be it known by a different name for each of us. It is not God. It is not personal. It DOES however possess a Will of it’s own: the Expression of the Will of the Original Parent. 

Mine craves to become fused with me, and thence become a Real person. Until then, it is (it may crudely be called) an “entity”—yet, of the highest spiritual kind. 

Before the beginning of everything, were the Sparks gathered—as Absolute Unity, and in my belief system (which should never be anyone else’s!), the Spark was and is a piece of the spirit substance of the Original Creator Parent, whose Will it represents, as He/She/They exists at the Center of Infinity, and at both “ends” of Eternity.

The Sparks fly out without restriction from the Absolute perfection of the Center into the still-evolving realms of space and time, to indwell the minds of evolutionary human beings. 

As physically, developmentally, socially and spiritually varied and diverse as those inhabitants of the billions of planets may be, the Sparks that reach them are uniform in Will and mission; only being altered by former indwellings and the experiences gained therefrom. 

In my case, and over a life time of deep mind exploration and real-world experience, I know that there was at least one mind that my Spark indwelt before me. I know a greater amount of detail than I would have, had I not thought to investigate the matter (most people don’t realize the situation and never investigate it).

I can say, and have written about, the man who hosted my Spark before it became mine, because the Spark has shone me these memories that It holds, in proportion to ratcheting up of the gaining of wisdom that I acquired. Try it for yourself! It works. 

The Spark’s former host (he was named after an ocean on his world, so I call him, “Okeanos”) lived on a planet more socially evolved than Earth is today, slightly more advanced technologically, and more spiritually settled. That world was in communication with the other inhabited worlds around it and with what we would consider to be “unseen” beings (on normal worlds human vision allows more interaction with “the others”). But Oceans world was going through a “rebellion” of the Luciferian kind, yet long before Lucifer proposed his plans in our more local space. I know this all sounds crazy, but hear me out, even if you see it as fiction.

Okeanos was a prominent musician and cultural leader. Until he was taken in by the spiritual rebels, his work had brought joy to millions of people, and “his heart was lifted up” and flattered by the apostates. Needless to say, there is a huge story about what happened next, that I hope to go into someday, but not today. 

Suffice it to say that he learned from the Spark (now MY Spark) that if he followed the rebels into open warfare he would not be resurrected in the next world when he died. Instead, he would (and did) LOSE HIS SOUL—the counter part to the Spark—the eternal substance that, with the Spark, would have allowed the personality fusion, and thus eternal life.

In an act of passion (or to make a point) he chose to kill himself by immolation—locking himself in a kind of trash incinerator, while his wife pounded on the glass door trying to stop him. That moment was a profound memory for the Spark! So much so, that even *I* can remember the look on her face as the flames burst in. I sometimes wonder what happened to her? I have seen women who remind me of her—even though she wasn’t mine, personally. Did her Spark follow his to OUR world? Would make a good Netflix series!

So, when I speak of the Spark, there is implied a heavy relationship to how I see my life as the continuation of IT’S life, and how I see my role in the story of our more primitive world. 

Earth - at this time in our evolution - is a far more manageable kind of place in some ways. We don’t yet have spiritual wars. Our wars are still of the blowing-up-your-fellow-man kind. Red blood-soaked battlefields are the barbaric stage we are seemingly stuck in and use to determine who “wins.” We haven’t even come close to recognizing unseen forces and beings, and we are even less in tune with the fact that the greatest part of the Universe of Universes is NON-material. We’re getting there, though.

But as our great minds discover forces that allow for growth in technology, our childlike grab-it-and-make-a-million-dollars rushes in, before we even know how to handle the other side of energy (the Reaction to Action). We have issues like oil spills, a warming atmosphere filling up with CO2, nuclear power accidents, and even runaway viruses who were perfectly happy inside bats, until we chopped them up for food in places where cleanliness is pretty fucking far from godliness. The real arrogance, of course, came from not thinking a pandemic could happen in the modern world. 

Processed food (for example) or anything leading to obesity, cancer, diabetes, etc, or the fire waiting in thousands of nuclear missile warheads easily launched with a simple computer error, or by a future despot who wants to burn the WHOLE world down, rather than be listed as an idiot in the history books…these things are REAL THREATS. But we treat them like afterthoughts.

So, what does the Spark tell me about the future? Well, it doesn’t tell me that human survival is assured. It doesn’t tell me that super beings are coming to save us, or that Jesus is on his way back, ready to amaze us with miracles. It doesn’t tell me that aliens are hiding behind the moon for just the right moment! No. No. No.

Since my surgery, the Spark has migrated more toward my soul. It isn’t as easily differentiated anymore, as a “voice” (which it never really was anyway). I have willed it Control over my thoughts. Interestingly this does not prevent my hair-trigger temper, depression, anxiety, or any related mental illnesses to be avoided. Things have actually been terribly difficult for me in those other ways. Human ways. Personally, I know that most of my work has to be done on fixing these human faults in myself and focusing them on one final life mission. It has been difficult, to say the very least. 

But I will tell you my “Sense” as it may (or may not be) imparted by the Spark…

Our planet is an evolutionary sphere. That means life is implanted or otherwise develops from ONE SINGLE CELL. If there are greater beings among us it is absolutely forbidden for them to interfere with this physiological evolution, once humans have evolved. Even before the advent of human-sized brains (capable of non-material thought, foresight, and wisdom, and therefore AN AFTERLIFE), there was no interference in the normal natural growth lines of living things as they descended down through the ages.

While Einstein was clearly averse to the idea of chance, saying “God does not play dice with the Universe!” there is in every sub-Absolute sense, chance occurring all around us! Quantum mechanics clearly shows that all things and events are in a superpositional waves until they are observed. Observing is called collapsing the wave. FACT. This shows that consciousness is the MOST fundamental force in the Universe—even on our dark world. 

With all of this in mind, we as a species are part of nature; literally derived from it, but because of our access to Universal consciousness we can - to a lesser or greater extent - MAKE the world we want. We have spent roughly a million years trying to live away from nature. 

Much of that time, we had damn good reasons! It’s friggin’ cold out there in the winter, and hot out there in the summer! Take it from me, it sucks to be homeless and caught out in the rain, or plunging through a thick woods in pitch dark. So with these big brains, we developed shelter, found water, grew food, built fires…leading eventually to detonating atom bombs, launching space shuttles, and giant feed lots of McDonald’s beef cattle. Again, though, it has been all about solving a discomfort (pick your example) temporarily without any concern about how the development of that solution will impact the future. That is animal thinking, not human thinking.

Point?: WE HAVE THE MINDS TO MAKE THIS EARTH A PARADISE OF PEACE AND SPACEFARING CONVENIENCE. We do! There is nothing in the natural world that prevents us from making heaven on earth. There is no food shortage for the billion people who go to sleep hungry. There is no dollar shortage to allow housing for every single human on the planet. There is no cosmic reason why all people are not given medical care FIRST——F…I…R…S…T, before worrying about whether the economy is still growing at 3%. WE—I’m saying. WE, as a species, are to blame, not nature.

In the former part of this essay, I gave you the doom and gloom. Were I a betting man, I’d bet on the doom and gloom. That’s why I wrote it. But, at the end I said it was the lack of LOVE that is dooming our gloomy human race. I suggested to you above that it is the Human Will that has True Power - channeled from the Original Parent, with the full force of unspeakable divinity. This Power is not only extent in our personal lives, but is jacked-up exponentially when approached standing beside other people as a team along with our own dear individual selves! We know this. It is why we CAN make good things happen when we’re really pressed to.

The ultimate challenge for humanity is to LOOK WITHIN itself. Look within yourself, as I look within myself. It can also BE a collective act. I see you there as my sister or brother, and you see me there—on this inside. Each of us is a GOOD LOVING person. We are! No person of average morals wants to see other people suffer and die. Yet, we forget about this ultimate God-given (if you will) power that we possess to work together.

So, you made it this far reading! Good for you! You may be not so far from your own personal solution AND your (and my) world’s solution!

If you want a more optimistic evaluation about 2020 and the years that will follow, I predict this: Terrible things are still going to happen. They will characterize life through the end of this year. We deserve a bloody nose. We deserve a LONG night of the collective soul. We deserve to PAY for our transgressions. That’s how energy works. We took an awful lot. And, now we must PAY, with interest! 

But, we are not immortally hell-bound “sinners in the hands of an angry God!” We don’t deserve species extinction (even after foisting that fate upon hundreds of other species). We are cosmic children fooling around with Daddy’s shotgun, perhaps spoiled by our own hubris and overly active intelligence, while neglecting our moral responsibility to each other and the whole planet. One of the first human beings might have put how we think into five prescient words: “Am I my brother’s keeper?” Still, we are just as important as all the rest of life.

IF we can rid ourselves of relying on human (as opposed to Cosmic) ideologies completely - and I DO mean COMPLETELY, within ourselves, and thence within society - we will begin to *think* for our individual selves, we could turn 2021 into the best year on Earth! Why? It’s a matter of IF’s and COULD’s.

We COULD recognize that the age of Nationalism is over forever. We COULD become Planetary Patriots! The planet is in for far greater dangers in the future. Be a Planetary Patriot and PREPARE, TOGETHER!

We (the citizens of the world) COULD draw up a Declaration of Independence from the Billionaire Caste. Choose the richest 8 and put their little noses to the grindstone. MAKE them understand that there is no more rationalization for unbridled, endless accumulation of wealth, thing fetishism, consumer shopping for sport. Stop buying useless shit you don’t need it, just because TV is telling you to do it! Remember, TOILET PAPER was the most valuable thing when we all lost our marbles…not salad shooters!

We COULD turn the militaries into ONE global disaster recovery machine. That is what it will end up being by default anyway. For the first time in world history ALL nations (except the US) have already agreed to a world-wide ceasefire. MAKE U.S. LEADERS follow suit!

We COULD make healthcare, access to healthcare, and the RIGHT to healthcare a HUMAN RIGHT across all nations. IF we don’t do this consciously, we will do it at the end of a virus-barrel, loaded gun (or many of them!) anyway—as we are currently being forced, until we CHOOSE to do it. Make Universal Healthcare the number one priority—starting TODAY!

We COULD - and this is perhaps MOST important - realize that the Right vs Left social war, that is on track to becoming a SHOOTING war in america, and then across the globe, is actually based on a false premise. That premise presumes that loyalty to political platforms is more important than loyalty to our fellow sisters and brothers. Get rid of the criminal, autocratic, greed-based leaders in the highest posts by doing whatever is necessary. IF not, seriously, WE WILL ALL DIE.

I have no idea whether this writing will be (most likely) ignored—because Americans seem to have one-sentence attention spans, or my three most loyal readers will be ready to go out into the world proclaiming these ideals. 

What I DON’T want is for people making ideologies around what *I* say. I do NOT hold the answers. What I have in a concave mirror that I hold up to Reality as I see it. If you see an answer there that matches your own belief system, make it Real.

I wrote a song for my mom. To me, the most important lines could apply to you all, and I offer it with all the love and sincerity I can express…

* * * 

There’s so much more to do

So many ways to sing

But I will be here with you

At the end of everything

* * *

Whether we die or survive together, it was an incredible life (if a rather sad one) for me on this blue speck of mist, circling a back water star. 

I Think There IS still hope. 

The IWALLK Essays - 12. Will Hindsight be 2020?

What a great question. Larry Cooper asks…

“Brother Alex , Im curious as to your Thoughts , opinion n Prophecy as to what the future history of 2020 may say . Albeit yes youve stated much of what needs to Be done already , But Will We ?, Or will we / mankind , try to go back to the Old Normal or Actualy CHANGE For the Better , Or Are WE FUBAR . IMO Hope is one thing yet Action is Another . Or Just play the fiddle while Rome & the Titanic Sinks ...The Only Constant Is Change.”

I’ll take a stab at that…

* * *

I wish I were a prophet, so that I had some higher reality to blame when my predictions go wrong. But, ultimately, that’s what they are…predictions…not prophecies. I am a time conscious-savant.

I see around corners, over horizons, through barriers. When I look at a trend or subtle change, my mind skips the working out of the calculus and gives me the clearly determined integration; the area under the function/curve. This is true, even if I’m not asking or looking for it.

Integration is the inverse of the differentials involved. I see the world through its differentials—then derive the integral. Rightly or wrongly. Have at me in the comment if you think I am wrong!

Larry writes: “Hope is one thing yet Action is Another.”

What a brilliant summation of so much that is concerning all of us.

I have already set forth my predictions for this pandemic. A few people listened, most didn’t. And, that is expected. I am so intense, because I am so lost in the noise of your daily routine. But it isn’t about me! (Hard to tell when I’m talking—sorry about that).

It is about what is coming. What is coming is greater than the Biblical plagues, or the current plagues. It is more significant to our species than any other possible issue. Why? Because it IS about our species’s limitations.

We run around like Nature is the problem. It isn't! We’ve separated ourselves from her almost completely before the virus. Stupid monkeys!

Then, what is a normal evolutionary event happens, although facilitated by a bloody market (in China—but it could be anywhere) where humans choose to eat wildlife, instead of leaving it the fuck alone, while blood and feces splatters everywhere in the name of interesting food: A natural virus is introduced into our human world? Well, fucking duh!!

Had we, as a species, not been full of our own hubris about just HOW MUCH we have separated ourselves from the natural world, we would be better angled to handle the situation.

But no, instead, we bring up all the things that have nothing to do with viruses, like ideologies, political ambitions, greedy billionaire grabs (along with their banks, have made more than ever before!). "How are my numbers looking as I make this or that pronouncement?" Cashing in, cashing in, LOSING their souls.

The progression of destruction for the next 12 months is pretty straightforward: Opening businesses that require close contact (nail salons, beauty salons, barbers, massage therapists, tattoo shops, restaurants, etc.), will lead to second, third, and forth waves of viral infection. But it isn’t that simple.

The waves bouncing back and forth need tighter scrutiny. What equipment works and what doesn’t?, where is the virus in public places?, who is immune—if anyone (and it looks like people can be reinfected)?

TESTING: Americans don’t get the idea that being asymptomatic means you are the MOST dangerous carriers of all, on, and on, and on…… There should be dirt cheap tests funded by the federal government as a wartime extreme production, that every American takes every day. THEN, things could be qualified and restricted more objectively.

We put millions of young men to work digging ditches after the great depression, we made a million items to be sent over seas for fighting men in WWI and WWII. The federal government has NO OTHER JOB than protecting the public!

The presidency or leader of the Senate’s job security is absolutely NOTHING compared to the people they supposedly represent and protect.

Let me say this, once and for all: A TRUE PRESIDENT (representative of the 330 MILLION Americans) would not even bring up his election during this kind of apocalyptic period—it would be a non subject. He would be entirely devoted to the task at hand.

Instead we have an impotent, flaccid, petty, two-digit IQ, racist, pedophilic, self-absorbed coward who will do anything to steal a second (third, forth, fifth ??) term, and turn the world into a cesspool of dripping, violent, unrestricted putrid, ideological venom.

But I have an even darker prediction. Personally? I think Trump will be come infected with Covid-19 (it’s not smart of me to say this, since the Secret Service will come looking for those who make such pronouncements once it’s happened).

I think Pence will be infected too. This doesn’t mean they die. The hope is that they do die (frankly, since it would save millions). The more realistic thing is that they recover. And, I’ll make another big pronouncement about that: They would be unstoppable then. Trump would get another term, as the hero who lived through the pandemic. And he would not give up the presidency after that second term. BE SURE OF THAT!

On the other weak, disabled hand, no matter who is the opposition to Trump, if that person wins (probably the dumbass, Biden), he will be coming in late as the public sees it. And Trump will not make the transition easy. Trump has made it a goal to excoriate Obama in the past. He will be sure to leave as much chaos as possible for any successor in the future.

It isn’t really about a stupid, but extremely devoted, populace. That’s a given for about 25-30% of white, conservative, male, American voters—too stupid to think for themselves and more than happy to have Trump’s retardation think for them.

Okay so that gets us an estimate on the next election. I don’t think it will be decided on the handling of the pandemic. If that were the case, Bernie would be redirected into the winning democratic primary and then presidential election. Things typically associated with socialism are THE ONLY WAY OUT of this, as we will see. Cash your $1,200 check first before you object!

I haven’t forgotten Larry’s inquiry, BTW. I have however, come to the realization that no amount of money given back to taxpayers can do a single thing, if there is nothing to BUY with it. If you have a chicken and I need protein, I will attempt to buy it with a $20 bill. But, if NO ONE has protein, you will make that chicken more than its weight in gold. And I can’t afford gold. You eat the chicken, and I plan on ways to kill you and take your chickens. Let’s say…

The food system will break down, as I have illustrated and provided plenty of evidence for. Once food is uncertain for the people who aren’t usually food insecure anyway (you all thought that was okay, until you’re own freezer began to lighten up?), civil unrest will begin. When your kid asks why she can’t eat tonight, your attitude will transform—guaranteed.

And remember the American Civil War was only a short time ago—relatively speaking (1861-1865). It took 100 years longer for black people to get rights, and even for women to vote!

The South, drenched in Spanish moss and sweat tea as-it-is is still chasing down black people and shooting them then relying on the general public to forgive the red-neck shooters. The North does not look kindly upon that (having lost OVER 300 THOUSAND YOUNG MEN to fight against the fantasy of slave-run society).

Any major violence will FIRST happen between North and South states, but not as regional differences, rather as ideological (right vs left) issues. Left vs Right will be a confusing guerrilla war until the nuclear stockpiled warheads come into the formula.

When THAT happens all bets are off.

Meanwhile, the nations outside the US sphere of influence will adjust accordingly. Canada will draw to the side and remain unaffiliated, anything to not align itself with the destructive policies of the US. Mexico will be dealing with their own extreme infection rate (having ignored it for too long, as we are seeing now).

There will be other countries that have largely solved the problem. But the US will not look to them or work with them. And, millions more will die.

In all, by the time two years have passed at LEAST a million Americans will have died. I *SO* hope I’m wrong with this!

When five years have passed, the US will be the equivalent of a third world nation. A petty dictator named “Trump” will bathe in the poison waters of “absolution.” China will be the only REAL superpower left. That will not be acceptable to the putrid Trumpian rulers on the Americas.

And then - once again - nuclear warfare will become the major threat. That’s what it always boils down to. They will destroy all life in a nuclear exchange, or they will turn around and join forces with China. We, who have long since died from the virus or social prescriptions thereof, can shout out as ghosts…

LOVE was the answer. It was the cure. It was the vaccine. LOVE was the solution. LOVE was what made life worth living. Helping one’s neighbors, family and friends was in every way superior to fighting them for existence or political points.

Personally, I would look down from my heavenly cloud and applaud. But we all know that will never happen. We are doomed. Is that the answer you were looking for?

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The IWALLK Essays - 11. A Farewell to Nostalgia

Photo of the author in early 2019 on his land in Farmington, Maine

and before his return back from The Faraway Place. 

They say that “sentimentality aint what it used to be.” I couldn’t agree more! Here in my new life (since bypass surgery) I meditate occasionally upon why I feel so different. I have said in several of these essays that I am the same person, but a different man. Maybe I can use this post to clarify that just a little more for both you and me. Writing is one of the most effective ways for me to unscramble the omelette that is my overthinking brain. The more I search for what I am now, the more I crave those new ingredients.

I have the memories of my original human self (c. 1968-2019) without being so burdened by the power of the former emotions around those memories. In my memory I see childhood Christmases, all the many times I played music with friends, college magic, the three four-year romantic relationships that formed my personal philosophy about intimacy, the employment at a range of jobs for other people’s businesses, before the stress and anxiety of those jobs began their merciless destruction of my heart. Leaving that shit was absolutely the smartest decision the first me ever made! 

Then came those IWALLK years as A Living Magazine, the purchase of a forever-piece of land. I feel that I gave that former life pursuing the mission of demonstrating that simplification can lead to true liberty... Those days are over now. That life is over. That part of the story is written and sealed. 

THIS new life is a tough love gift from the Universe to me. It will last approximately ten to fifteen years, and I will have a chance to fulfill a new kind of work, probably having to do with assisting somehow in the current pandemic. 

The past is all just as clear, as I recall it. I simply don’t have any overriding feelings about those things at all anymore. It’s not that I don’t care. I do care. But not in the way you might think. I miss being able to smile briefly at the memory of some transiently successful thing, and/or luxuriating in the awful emotional pain of my losses and failures, over and over and over again-----NOT. 

You see, being prone to what I would best describe as some kind of chronic Ruminative Thinking—replaying negative scenes but never resolving my feelings around them, has lightened up significantly. It is a real blessing to have these perpetually outsized emotional responses pretty much eliminated.

But, like I said, I AM the same person and to some degree I have begun ruminating anew. But this time the initial prick of negativity that starts the destructive part of the cycle seems to be counterbalanced by a new ability, one that I keep focusing on.

This new ability appears to be based around retraining some part of my subconsciousness to see how clearly my assumed disparate concerns are interconnected parts of some very fundamental problems. Now that the distraction of 50 years of stressful bullshit is nearly gone, I can do real positive work in what Terence McKenna called, “the felt presence of immediate experience.” It is so much more obvious to me now; where completely separate problems in nearly any context have threads that relate them to each other. 

I am still new at this, but it appears that there may be ways to find out how one crucial cut in the thread connecting two difficult problems can solve them both and catalyze a chain reaction that then solves a whole bunch of other problems—even ones I am not aware of.

So, I have begun to fight my personal habit of rumination, by now--in quiet times, exploring my own mind in any way I can, and testing this strange hypothesis on the little things. The doable things are the important ones. Then, in the active, everyday world of full consciousness, I notice real changes to my perception of the world around me. I am developing the new man that I am.

It seems I’ve grown up a bit in some very specific ways and not in others. My temperament is more slow to fall in line, that's for sure. Nevertheless, I found a stronger pragmatic streak inside myself than I’ve ever felt before. “Just the facts”? Yes. That’s what makes me happy now. Objectivity may be an impossible goal for anyone. But the striving for it should at least be worth every second. 

I think I know what John Lennon meant when he said there are “only solutions.”

The IWALLK Essays - 10. Alex The White

You can diagnose the following any way you want, but I decided not to hike out to my land while I was property sitting in Farmington. I'm not sure I can handle seeing all of my stuff still in the deep freeze, I'm afraid it would seem too much a tomb for the old Alex--just too many emotions for a deep/over thinker...for now. I told you earlier that I came back to this world as a different man than the day I went into cardiac surgery. My priorities have changed. I gave my life for what I believed in, and part of the deal with not actually dying seems to be with achieving some greater thing. I still plan to develop my property, but being a martyr (walking in the rain, sleeping in the snow, suffering from hunger, only to die, largely unknown) in a world that doesn't give enough of a shit - this time around - is off the Life Menu. I have a relatively strong mind, but I never allowed it the balance of happiness as a counter weight to the oppressive sadness that ruled me since being, well, a little kid (part of the reason why I don't have kids). After decades, I truly believed that I was not going to find anything approaching the peace I so needed. Then, strangely, at the apparent end of my life (October) I found peace of mind when I saw that I actually was loved and would be missed, before submitting to the unconsciousness of the needle. I was ready to go...wanted to go. Despite feeling like there was ice pick in my heart every day, the months of September and October were like the retirement I was never going get. And I'm thankful for that. In my search now as I train for the Epilogue of this life story, I identify with Gandalf the Grey (from Lord of the Rings), who slay his enemy (the Balrog demon) upon the mountainside, and then lay down to die...

"When Gandalf was reincarnated after dying in the act of slaying the Balrog known as Durin's Bane, he was naked. His white robes were a gift from Galadriel, the Guardian of Lothlórien. "Healing I found, and I was clothed in white.'" [Quora]

So you can call me "Alex the White." Yes, it's just a metaphor (and comes without a white robe, a horse named "Shadowfax," and delusions of heroic grandeur--on my part), but I don't see any analogy that is closer to what I have undergone. I have retained the strange magical power that I developed as a kid--that of transferring my mental pain and depression to the organs of my body, especially my heart, the organ with neurons of it's own; one that FEELS. Hate yourself? Just numb the pain by killing the one thing that reminds you that you are still real and worth something. Now I have to stop that shit, before it takes me down again. I need to control this psychosomatic aspect, because I no longer have 50 years left to work it out--I have been given 10. This is the self-training that I am dealing with. I am not a wishful thinker. I can be wishful, and lord knows I'm a thinker, but I am intensely allergic to relying on faith in some supernatural power or forced happy thoughts, or the stupidest and most useless piece of advice ever: "Just let it go," over true material healing. So, unlike Gandolf, I have to add the caveat, "Healing I have not found yet, and so am not yet clothed in white." I've documented most of the post surgical weirdness that is happening here at my blog, IWALLK. Yet, I can't state strongly enough just how powerful my mind has become over the functioning of my body. The mind is VERY self-deceptive though. By the time I was in my 20's, I hypothesize that my mind had built a parallel network of negative thought patterns that bypassed my consciousness and went straight to destroying my heart. Here's the huge elephant in the room, though... I need to rework my reality model (my belief system) to break the parallel networks. In a bizarre twist, although positive faith is useless to me in a healthcare way, what I might call "negative faith" (wanting things to not work out) works like a charm! God. That's the first word. I was what you might call a true believer. I DO believe in a First Universal Parent. But that's where you would see my system depart heavily from the Judeo-Christian tradition. No old white man swimming in clouds, supported by fat little androgynous cherubim. The idea that there is a literal interpretation of the Bible, I find especially retarded. What I hate, no... despise, now (since surgery), is typical unfairness, reliance on illogical, unscientific conclusions to material issues, washed down with purposeful ignorance. Without trying to air too much dirty laundry, I simply can't stand certain people anymore who are carefully composing their social appearance, while unfairly demeaning others. There are people in my life who within a week of almost dying, and upon my return from quadruple bypass surgery, who - knowing that mental instability, depression, anxiety, etc., can be a very serious side effect, and is common (40% of patients) during rehabilitation - asked me to do physical things that they knew I shouldn't do, and took advantage of my weakened psychological state to manipulate and deceive me. It's always the closest people, btw. Family. They simply didn't take my situation seriously, and abused me for no reason besides their own pride, using my weaknesses to try to take advantage of me. I find that particularly unforgivable. When I was around these people I would get spikes in blood pressure (in one day's readings on my bp cuff, the numbers never fell below 160/116). I was sweating, coughing (which really sucked with a wired up sternum!). I was emotionally rubbed raw, so when I would try to defend myself, all that I could muster was yelling and becoming very angry. Of course this just proved their point that I am unstable. Why? Because I was fucking unstable! Then, I became the "bad" guy. Pretty good strategy for driving me insane. And they know (because I told them) that I will stew on negative comments about me for days. That's a nice weapon to have when you don't possess a conscious or a merciful desire to love other people. Just drop a little bomb that's goes off slowly over a week. After twenty weeks, I have worked much of this through and it is a big difference from those early days in the fall. Being left alone helps amazingly. But for Christ's sake, loving family members don't do those things to each other! But, you'd never know if you were observing my family. Remember, this shit is five decades of mind fucking. I learned many years ago, that friends are much more loving and reliable - in general - than jaded, petty, manipulative, jealous, and greedy family members. I pray that you don't agree. (Because it means this hasn't been your experience.) Be really nice if I didn't have to spend the rest of my time here on earth looking over my shoulder for the most recognizable faces--defending against my own flesh and blood! Unbelievably, on my first day of counseling, the unrelated, unethical (at least, and probably illegal) behavior of one relative in particular ruined the session vicariously--again, because of something completely unrelated to my own behavior. I needed to protect this person who was abusing me. If I was a lesser man, I would have just let them go after this person. It's all just another mind fuck. I will look into resuming counseling, when I feel more secure about my own interpretations. I NEED therapy, but I have to know the parameters. By the way, this outrageous inability to even get through a counseling session because of someone else's behavior, is indicative of a moral crime. It is a crime perpetuated, because of a kind of spiritual immaturity that borders on psychopathy. This person has the opposite problem that I do. Overconfidence. Narcism. So Alex the White, the White Wallker, the man who will someday be clothed in eternal raiments, has a few more battles to win against the Orcs--known and unknown. And, since I have not much else to do with my remaining decade, and not a hell of a lot to lose. I WILL WIN--but only if it is fair. When, another person takes over writing about my life, a true and magnificent story will be finally completed and will stand long, I think. Remember when Gandalf the White is trapped with Pippin the Hobbit and they are pretty sure they're going to die? I pretend he is sitting with me, and I am still 10 years old. I look up ask him if this will be the end? "End?" he looks down at me with a kindness and assurance in his eyes. "No, the journey doesn't end here. Death is just another path, one that we all must take. The grey rain-curtain of this world rolls back, and all turns to silver glass, and then you see it..." Yes, I've wallked in drizzling rain of my own tears for too long. When I leave for the sparkling waters of the next Place, the whole world may hear of it. If I didn't think this last part of the story was going to be the best part, I wouldn't even write at all.

The IWALLK Essays - 9.1. The Existential Need [Part 1]

I was born in 1968. The decade had been turning darker when I arrived, as racism and the Vietnam War dominated political life, and while art and music were changing culture into something closer to what we might recognize today. Strangely, while the motivations for a revolution in culture have been mostly forgotten, war and racism (for example) are just as present as they were back then; perhaps as they have been...well...for all of history, so far.

We are an odd species, using our insides for trying to understand ourselves from the outside. We study history and supposedly try to learn from it so that we don't repeat it, and then we blithely repeat it. It is less like we are learning from it and more like we are being trained by it. Marshall McLuhan said of this tendency, "We drive into the future using only our rearview mirror." Is there a wonder that there are accidents along the way.

It doesn't help that we literally live in the past, because of the limitations of our material bodies. Our (at least) five senses detect the hypothetically "present" world around us and then send that information via a relatively slow electrochemical signals to be processed in and then acted upon by the brain. Physiologically, we can never BE in the present. Over time we recognize moments in the contexts of their own history, but never in the present. 

Unfortunately, we also have no idea what our human world really looks, sounds, feels, smells, or tastes like either. Our biological sensors have minimum and maximum parameters that fall far short of the spectra involved in fully recognizing the functioning of reality. Other animals are equipped with expanded senses (relative to ours). The best color vision in the animal kingdom is the mantis shrimp...

They are thought to have the most complex eyes in the animal kingdom and have the most complex visual system ever discovered.

Mantis Shrimp - Wikipedia

In fact, the shrimp sees 12-16 distinct colors (we only see three: red, green, and blue and just from these three we are able to distinguish around 10,000,000 colors mixed by these three). More amazingly, each of the mantis shrimp's two eyes can see in 3D by itself! But, does the mantis shrimp use this unbelievably good vision to express itself in beautiful paintings? No. It barely possesses a brain (which is more insect-like). Seems like overkill. Until this last year, the reason for this astounding visual acuity had been a mystery. Only as late as 2019 did scientists finally discover that this complex visual system may be used to store visual memories (like about the physical appearance of kinds of predators), without having to use a large brain. Input information can be stored as such in small organs located in the eye stems before reaching the brain structure, instead of being reinterpreted and stored, as our brains do.

We see only in the white light part of the electromagnetic spectrum, while infrared (heat-light) falls way below and ultraviolet shines above what we can detect by human vision alone. Then there are many magnitudes of electromagnetic waves below and above even the infrared (radio waves, for example) and ultraviolet (gamma rays, for example), that we aren't seeing anyway.

The other thing that is strange to consider is that the "outside world" (outside our brains) arrives at our sensory system as ONE thing. Until it touches this sensory system, that one thing (the entire outside world) isn't split up into visual, sonic, touch, etc... phenomena. Think about that for another moment. There is no purely visual image of anything in existence. However, there is a form to each thing. A non-sighted human can know the form of many objects, even if he can't see them, by touching them. Similarly, or more abstractly, neither a sighted, nor unsighted human can see the wind, but both can feel it through touch. The wind still has form, because of this recognition, even if that form can not be described (easily) by geometry. 

We're still slow though. If we consider only the detection of light - which moves at 299,792,458 meters per second - we might conclude that our sense of vision must be processed most quickly by the brain. But, such is not the case at all.

Firstly, the electrochemical impulses through nerve pathways only travel at about 100 meters per second from the retina to the visual cortex, there, to be processed, or 0.000003% the speed of light! In fact, the brain itself has never seen a single ray of light directly.

Secondly, those (optic) nerves are farther away from the brain than the nerves from our ears (called, vestibulocochlear, or auditory vestibular), which means we process auditory stimuli more quickly than visual, even when light arrives at our head earlier than the sound.

Now, if we combine these with the fact that detecting things in space is a function of time--since it takes time for the light reflected or projected from any object to travel its respective distance to our eyes, no object can be so close to our brain as to appear in the present moment. In this way, we truly do live in a four dimensional place, made up of three space dimensions and one of time. So again, all of this forces us to live in the past. Even our inner voice is not speaking with us in a present moment, since electrochemical, neural passages are required to think and react at all (in normal physiological circumstances).

As physics and quantum mechanics probe further into the forces and particles that move the world around us (as described by the Standard Model), our consciousnesses (individually and collectively) seem to be animating the show--at least the one each of us is participating in...literally, our living days and nights. It is assumed by quantum mechanics that all objects - from the smallest point particle (like that of the neutrino or quark) to the largest known aggregation of matter (like that of the universe itself) - have their own unique quantum waveforms. These waves remain highly distributed throughout the entire universe, in what is called a "superposition," until they are observed. When observed, consciousness collapses superpositional waves into individually recognized objects--large and small. Consciousness (of the human type) makes the existential suddenly experiential.

Here is where my hypotheses about this begins...

Through a very careful study of every possible field, from science to art, the experiential integration of many psychedelic journeys, and the general observation of the way things work--along with a special eye for any anomalies that arise, I have formed an entire metaphysical model that seeks to compartmentalize and combine all known physical and philosophically probable theories and laws. It uses a universal system of reality frames, scaffolding, and other describable forms I have named, Metaphoric Geometry.

The idea of letting geometry describe ideas (and not just objects) is as old as illustrative discussion itself. One may think of the practical utility of using Venn diagrams. Even more fundamental is the use of algebraic symbols to represent abstract mathematical concepts or even very simple logic.

Example: If A = B and B = C, then A = C. Dissimilar terms (A, B, and C) can be called equivalent, or not. Pretty simple! Technical logic also codifies this. This is especially useful in the simplifications of calculus and analytical geometry for describing complex motion (for example). My contribution/expansion to this is not significant. But it is a way I've discovered to express my own existential ideas.

I mention the above work, because I want you to know how carefully I've considered these things. Now let's move to some of the conclusions I've come up with for the "reason" for existence. My expressions below are strictly opinions. I have no supernatural knowledge, no revelations to spread. Each of us forms a "leap of faith" world model that we can grasp and fall back upon when things aren't making sense. We each build this reality model over a scaffolding built up of concepts that don't break down (very often) over a lifetime.

We should recall that (as mentioned above) particles (even if they exist as waves in a superposition) exist in a non-objective, non-temporal, relativistic space-time--each functioning in its own existential reality frame, but all part of one complementary material system that can loosely be called, "the Universe." Similarly, each human being exists in a subjective reality made up of his/her own self-constructed world view, while also being able to share their co-experiences in a collective way. This is deep stuff! There are far too many aspects of this hypothesis to touch upon all of them in this blog entry. All the while though, it is important, rarely discussed and worth dipping our toes into the basics every now and then.

With memes (of the older than FB kind too) we are told that, "You make your own reality." And, there is a ring of truth to that bell. But just exclaiming this is far too general to be of much practical use. If we make our reality, why isn't reality constantly the way we want it to be?

We intuit that we have some kind of profound control over our own personal lives. I would argue that mind control extends beyond our bodies and out to and through the basic space-time matter around each of us. It isn't especially psychokinetic. Still, that kind of controlled force is probably minuscule; perhaps as minuscule as the force of gravity. But pure mental control over matter is there and it does influence our world--as physics has proven with the so-called "double slit experiment."

So why don't we fly through the air or pass through walls under mind power? It is because mind Power [power is work {w} done over time {t}, or P =  delta w / delta t]--our influence over matter, has already been allowed through touching that matter and manipulating it. That ability is a form of mind control. You tell your hand to hold the nail, and the other hand to bang on it with a hammer. To this day, no one has been able to explain the complete process behind the dictates of the brain, moving  body parts.

Bake a pie. Through using completely disparate ingredients you have produced a new organic chemical product that is nothing like any one of its ingredients. Though you did it literally - you touched it in some physical way from beginning to end - it was done in a 100% inner mind space (since, remember, there actually is no "outside").

Send a text message through the air. No, you aren't hand delivering your message. But it isn't magical or mystical that your friend received your communication. Electromagnetic waves sent from your phone are detected and amplified by the nearest cell tower, then relayed variously by a series of fiber optic and/or copper land lines, perhaps combined with satellite signals, etc., to your friend. It is all by physical means. But "physical" is not equal to "material." So, flying and passing through walls is going to require more time to develop technologically. But it will come. My point? Everything that can be done with matter will be done by human beings if we survive long enough, even things that seem "supernatural" (magical, mystical) now.

Nevertheless, I propose that consciousness is a field and is more fundamental that matter. By that, I mean space-time is a purposely limited "place," where time seemingly runs in only one direction. But a "place" doesn't have to be made of matter in order to exist just as significantly as the place you are in right at this second. Remember it's always a little bit in the past--this moment doesn't exist. And so, it is in the delayed reaction between sensing and acting that we MAKE our place.

We can go to places when we sit back and close our eyes. We go places under the influence of psychedelics. I personally have quite a bit of experience intentionally lucid dreaming, and I testify that there are physical places that are not made of regular material. I've dreamt about standing in a room - knowing I was in a dream - and very carefully examining the wall, pushing on it, running my fingers over it. It was THERE. But where was there? It was in a place. Where space may or may not be infinite, the number of places are infinite. And only consciousness can create/co-create some places, because places require limited access to the flow of time. I'm not saying that places exist along a timeline. Not at all! What I'm saying is that although mind can exist in space it is still relatively independent of time. It uses time to create experience.

The mortal mind needs experience in order to become immortal, but not like you think. Being immortal isn't just "living on" it is more like gaining a power, like a superpower (compared to the power material humans have), but everybody gets one. Ha! And that power is to then create (relative to the entire scheme) one's own personal best, for all of the rest of eternity. Eternity is not a linear path, it is a lateral cycle. Eternity is not reached through a series of parallel lines, but rather by wisdom acquirement (knowledge and experience can equal wisdom), and therefore a circuitous series of will-choice events--personalized for each of us.

If there was a Big Bang, it appears to have crystalized all of one certain way that everything in all subsequent history of the resultant material universe could have ever gone. That doesn't negate free human will like some kind of determinism. It is simply a future fact, built up from prior facts, all having origin in an all encompassing potentiality. The Universe we recognize as actual is just a tiny part of that original potentiality.

Someday all that is to happen may somehow join all that has ever happened and that will be our universe's experientially completed state. It began with the darkness before creation and it may evolve with us and our growing mastery over matter, but that really depends on finding our way around the Second Law of Thermodynamics...

[Keep an eye out for Part 2.]