A Living Magazine - Day 347 - Homecoming - Nashua: The Foreboding Begins

This will be very short and perhaps terse...

It was a much better sleep, physically. But my mind was not at peace. Lately I'd been having dreams about being back in Maine. Well, they weren't really dreams, more like dreamlets--images and situations. The ones from the night now-passed had to do with meeting someone--a woman, and not being able to explain something. I can't remember what it was that I so dearly wanted to describe for her--but it just didn't come out right, over and over again. There were other similar scenarios.

I was concerned about ending this crazy shit that I'd been up to, and obviously these concerns were manifesting themselves in my subconscious.

Usually I rely on sleep and where it can bring me to escape the stresses and uncertainty of an unsettled life on the street. However, sometimes, it is more settling to leave sleep behind and venture forth into a new day. This day was pretty much an exact copy of the day before, minus the night wallk. So, I'm not going to go into detail about it. There were no pictures.

I did not yet know that my plans to celebrate this Journey in Boston before taking the Amtrak to Maine were about to dissolve. I was still very hopeful, and looked forward to finishing the trip in style and happiness.

I still thought that surely plenty of donations would come in. They never did. And, the plan was unrealistic anyway. I sit writing this now in the knowledge that I would be crushed and disappointed by the reality of the situation.

I will have to try to find ways of staying motivated. For 20 months I'd hoped for a shining end to all of this work. It looks like that is not going to happen. All the while, in the next few days I happily went about my normal routine, also having a great visit with two friends as will be described in the next post.