A Living Magazine - Tap Root: Days 270 to 289 - Spring, the Last Cabin Days, and Leaving Gato

With the book done and now resting uncomfortably on ice--unable to be printed because of my typical lack of funds, I needed to extract myself from domestic cabin life and return to the world of my own creation. Snow was receding very quickly now and I took advantage of this in between state to appreciate the transition...  

A Brook Along My Walking Into Town

I wasn't looking forward to leaving Gato. And, it turned out that things would be even more difficult than they had to be. As I mopped, dusted, vacuumed, and otherwise cleaned the cabin, I brought loads of equipment from the land to the cabin to fix and restore it. Now, cats are not big fans of change. They prefer a steady routine over constant alteration. That is also the best way for us to interact with them. When repetitive words and phrases are associated with certain actions that are anticipated by the cat, a strong and effective communication is set up. I had been a steady and constant influence of Gato, and with my allowing him to go outside more each day (supervised) his kitten-like behavior was being superseded by learning what the outdoors was really for. He had stopped using his litter box in favor of an area across the yard where he did his business each morning. Where he once chased every leaf in the wind, when first exposed to the outdoors, he now explored and carefully took note of what was useful to him (for example, learning to chase birds and how to hunt--killing his first vole). He differentiated those things from his former inclination to be distracted by every sound and movement. He was, in short, growing up...

Along with all of this developing maturity, came much calmer indoor behavior. He was no longer interested in playing with his toys. I left the door cracked so he could come in and eat or drink whenever he wanted during the day. At sunset, I let him in for the night. He was not as attentive to me anymore for those evening and overnight hours. He just wanted to sleep--a natural reaction to wearing himself out, playing in the yard all day. Still, each morning, he would hop up on the bed and hunker down to sleep a few more hours curled up on my shoulder...  

But what I notice in these three weeks was that he sensed things were about to change. His curiosity in what I was doing each day increased as my departure grew closer. And, in the last few days before I left, he got clingy again, like he used to during the winter and before he was able to go outside.

Following a long afternoon of me taking stuff back and forth between the land and the cabin, I lay down to rest on the couch and noticed him standing in the doorway looking at me. It was sunny and warm behind him; no reason why he wouldn't just keep playing outside. When he saw me look at him, he let out a long meow, that sounded distinctly like a question. I asked him what the problem was. He stood and his tail stuck straight up. Then he ran over and jumped up to me, curling up at my shoulder again, immediately falling asleep. I joined him in dream land for a couple hours...

Whenever I thought about living each day without him, I needed to immediately redirect my mind. I am a pretty stoic person for most things (think of some of what I have described going through in this blog!), but I have a soft emotional side when it comes to animals. 

I had planned to leave the cabin for good on Saturday, May 5th. But the weather was pretty crappy and the tent wasn't fully shored up for habitation yet. That next Monday's weather would be very nice though. That would be the day. I enjoyed as much time as I could with Gato. On Sunday night, all of my stuff had been moved out and the cabin was clean and ready for the next occupants, whomever they might be. My landlord/neighbors had kindly allowed me to use their truck for all of that moving, and that was to be the mode I would use to transport Gato (in his cat carrier) to their house the next morning.

He spent a longer time than usual on my lap before we both turned in for the night. He seemed small again, back to kitten mode, purring loudly as I stroked his back, ruffled his neck, and scratched under his chin. Unfortunately, the next few days would not lead to a smooth transfer for him and were instead characterized by misunderstanding and disappointment. Remember way back in December, when I was feeling so good about the opportunity to have such a great place to stay and write my book over the winter? Remember when I said I never trusted things that seemed too good to be true, and was waiting for the other shoe to drop? Well, that shoe was in freefall, I just didn't know it yet...