I woke up fully rested, even after the visit from my furry friends during the night. But, I found myself slipping a bit into the funk that rears its head every now and then. I hadn't really done much in Nashville. There were things and places I wanted to get pictures of, but my writing was taking precedence over exploration. I have to be truthful and say that, though Nashville is an impressive city and place, I haven't felt a real strong spirit here. I'm sure there is one, but I have not been privy to it. The street folks are mostly black (as usual in this part of the county), with a few whites thrown into the mix. There isn't an extraordinary amount of "shelterlessness". The homeless have a good Mission in town to stay at if they are able. Only a few wander aimlessly and sleep outside.
On the other hand, there are lots of wealthy white tourists all around, having fun and doing the Nashville thing. I'm not a tourist and have no money, so things like the Country Music Hall of Fame, or visiting the many clubs and bars around the downtown area are just out of reach. And, in this town, if you can't do stuff like that, your limitations will offer very few other alternatives. Yes, there is a rich history. I planned to spend Tuesday taking pictures and checking in at the library for historical and other information, before leaving on Wednesday.
Music-wise? I find the town uninspiring. The music I hear is the re-hashed American, country and western; not much jazz or blues (that I've heard, anyway); a little bit of rock and roll; and always the requisite hip hop pounding out of black-windowed cars. I'd hoped to hear more alternative country--like what I enjoyed in Spokane, but I just see little evidence of it. Everyone is playing all the greatest hits we've all heard a million times. Progressive and alternative sounds don't have much a of a venue to be showcased. Again, these are largely uninformed generalizations, based on a rough and short-term impression, by a guy who only has a week to be here. To be fair, I get the feeling that if I lived here I would be able to locate other clubs that are cutting edge.
The many street musicians who set up and strum their three chords with open guitar cases - again, only playing music that has already been done ad infinitum - have grand aspirations of making it big, but they lack a serious angle. Were they to WRITE their own music, and experiment with other chord structures, some fat cat producer might walk by and be attracted. But, I just don't see anything like that taking place. If a truly novel and creative songwriter wanted to get recognized as such, she/he would be crazy to try in this town. The number of wannabe stars fills a pool that is simply too vast, mongrelized, musically mediocre and untrained, to be filtered out as the creme de la creme, never mind being scraped off the top of it all, and make millions of dollars. My opinion only.
For this day though, it would be more of the same: Starbucks to write, and then back to the sleep spot. I had a concept developing in my mind for the last few weeks, and the encounter with the coyotes focused its theme more tightly, developing it into essay form in my head, as I walked downtown...
More texting? Who knows? Perhaps the results of destruction have an artistic quality to them.
My favorite vehicle: The Jeep Wagoneer. Big, old, tough,
perfect for rural land (except for the gas it guzzles and the pollution it produces).
THIS truck was in ideal condition for its age.
The essay would have to wait until the post I'm writing here and now. I still had the coyote experience to related and the dream about Dean first.
Now, I have the chance to put forward the essay. It is on the subject of fear, and how to kill it.
* * * * * * *
THE DEATH OF FEAR
I have now been to enough places around this country to be able to make some broad generalizations about what I see behind people's eyes. What do I mean by this? I mean that there is something in everyone that shows through, aside from what they present on the outside. Primarily, I see fear and anxiety, but also a great, but latent strength.
The fear is not an overt impression of terror, but more like a deep and simmering uneasiness. If one were take a measure of panic, draw it out as a curve, and then stretch that curve across a whole adult lifetime, it might approximate this impression. Most people walking around on the streets, those driving to work, those busy at their jobs, those smiling and trying to have a good time, are unsatisfied with themselves, to one degree or another. So this is no big revelation, I understand.
I know how they feel, because I used to feel the same way. Certainly, I still have times when this fear returns. Yet, I have found that my once-constant "generalized anxiety" is now gone. It might be easier for someone else to examine the many variables that led to the death of this fear in me. I can only use my own insight to do this for myself. And, I want to try to explain what I have discovered, that the reader might glean something for her/himself in dealing with the disquietude that seems to be a "natural" part of modern human life at this time in history.
There are many anecdotes floating around about facing fear in order to defeat it. These are great first steps. In fact, facing fear is most certainly a very effective in this regard. What is not well-understood is (1) the will to take the first step and (2) the particulars involved in the process of facing what we fear.
I've spoken extensively about using the will to take action. The will, as I see it, is a tool that the mind can not only resort to, but regularly rely on, for opening the doors of possibility. These doors are not just pre-existing passageways, they are literally created by technique involved in the expression of will. Potentials are infinite. The human may reach into this limitless potentiality and CAN facilitate a process whereby ideas are transformed and thence undergo what Alfred North Whitehead called, the formality of actually occurring, as action. Nothing in life can do this better than will--intention.
This sounds complicated, but what it boils down to is that uncertainty - what we don't understand - is an illusion created by either a lack of knowledge about reality, or the misinformation imparted by other people to us--whether intentionally or unintentionally. Either way, we adopt mystery when we don't have enough information about the world. We replace our need to solve mysteries with a simple acceptance that "some things just can't be known". And, while it might be that there are true mysteries in the universe--questions that simply do not have readily available answers to them, our concerns about riddles that other people present and the seemingly mysterious processes of the material world, DO have answers--for SURE.
We are not often able to believe this. Even writing those words was difficult for me, because I myself so frequently revert to the "oh well, some things just can't be explained". What I am here to tell you is that this reticence is not necessary. Taking that "first step" that I spoke about above is the chink in the armor of mystery. Using your will to decide - implementing a will-decision - is a simple and effective means of penetrating the unknown. And, once that thought has turned into an action, the heavy lifting part of your job is done! The will then takes over, creating a doorway for the walk-through that you have already sanctioned. You ARE walking into a greater understanding by that point. The act is done.
We surely DO fear that which don't understand. Our choice, once this concept is accepted, is to either choose to understand or not. There is much comfort in the stale warm water of ignorance. There is a reason why "ignorance is bliss". Understanding about the nature of the things we fear carries with it an implicit responsibility to face the fears we carry. If you aren't ready to do something to eliminate your fear, then you will necessarily not try to understand what you need to understand; you will stay ignorant, AND fearful.
So how can this be done? What are the particulars? How do we face fear and then overcome it?
I may not have your individual solution, but I might have some tips from my experience facing scary situations. If any of these suggestions resonate with you, it means that not only are you ready to step into the unknown, but are also fully capable of doing just that.
Several people I've met out here; online friends I've finally gotten to meet face to face; new friends who have suddenly appeared in my life and people I've briefly met, have behaviors that might be considered forms of OCD (obsessive compulsive disorder). That a human term has been assigned to this complex and varied spectrum of behavior is not necessarily helpful.
Once psychology (a "soft science") codifies and solidifies some definition of behavior, its treatment can become highly limited. Counselors then have a page in the "manual" to open up to, read the most current practices, and thus utilize them as THE answer. The temptation to then paint this "answer" as a picture of "treatment" is frequently executed with a rather broad brush.
Once psychology (a "soft science") codifies and solidifies some definition of behavior, its treatment can become highly limited. Counselors then have a page in the "manual" to open up to, read the most current practices, and thus utilize them as THE answer. The temptation to then paint this "answer" as a picture of "treatment" is frequently executed with a rather broad brush.
I think the idea for getting around this clinical form of laziness is to demand that treatment be abandoned, and for healing to replace it.
In western medicine the emphasis is on treating problems, rather than healing the patient. Unfortunately, the motivation for pushing people into a lifelong regimen of medication and "therapy" is profit driven. Even the most altruistic therapist depends on the problem not being solved in order to make a living. This is perhaps a very unfair abstraction for those who genuinely do want their patients and clients to have happier lives; one free of the heavy anxiety that prevents them from being satisfied in those lives. Nevertheless, money dominates everything in our society and counselors need to eat too.
In western medicine the emphasis is on treating problems, rather than healing the patient. Unfortunately, the motivation for pushing people into a lifelong regimen of medication and "therapy" is profit driven. Even the most altruistic therapist depends on the problem not being solved in order to make a living. This is perhaps a very unfair abstraction for those who genuinely do want their patients and clients to have happier lives; one free of the heavy anxiety that prevents them from being satisfied in those lives. Nevertheless, money dominates everything in our society and counselors need to eat too.
There are plenty of exotic medications out there for people to take. The side effects of these substances are seen as a necessary evil, with their "benefits" - being the shortcuts around rethinking why the "patient" can't simply be "normal" - again, trumped up and emphasized as THE answers.
I wrote some days ago about the wide use of SSRIs (selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors) and similarly acting classes of drugs used to treat everything from OCD, to quitting smoking, to depression, to social anxiety, to PTSD symptoms, and on and on. Millions of people are now taking these drugs indefinitely and finding them to be useful.
What I tried to emphasize was that, perhaps, we are using medication to change people into something that an artificially created society, seriously lacking in appreciation for the happiness of individuals, needs numbed-down workers to maintain it. I'm not stuttering when I say "needs". And, it is erroneously seen a win-win situation for said society, when pharmaceutical companies are raking in BILLIONS of dollars in this effort, while people appear to be helped.
What I tried to emphasize was that, perhaps, we are using medication to change people into something that an artificially created society, seriously lacking in appreciation for the happiness of individuals, needs numbed-down workers to maintain it. I'm not stuttering when I say "needs". And, it is erroneously seen a win-win situation for said society, when pharmaceutical companies are raking in BILLIONS of dollars in this effort, while people appear to be helped.
Never has there been a discussion about what can be done to fit the mechanisms of society into the natural needs of the individuals who maintain that society, so that the individual doesn't require a reallocation of their own brain chemistry in order to feel like things are okay. There is something profoundly disturbing about this system. Though it might be unrealistic to expect it to change soon, it MUST change at some point.
Fear in society is a carefully and willfully sustained state and method of ruling the masses. If you suffer from OCD, for example, it is very likely a result of early childhood influence, by parents who were also fearful. Arachnophobia - as I also recently addressed - is another example of irrational fear. Being afraid of the dark, being afraid of random violence, being afraid wild animals, being afraid of crowded areas, being afraid of isolation...just being afraid... It is all irrational.
The Universe is NOT an aggressive place that doesn't care about you. The people and the beasts who inhabit it are not out to get you. I know this, because I have been to these dark places that I thought were so dangerous. I've met these people and they are just people--not monsters. Animals too, in general, don't want to hurt you, poison you or eat you. They just want to survive. In most cases (95%?), they want nothing to do with you at all!
Everything is so hyped up in the mass media. They don't bring you reports about the guy who drove to work, had a nice lunch with his coworkers and then bought a pizza for the kids on the way home, for a pleasant evening of watching movies together. It is car crashes, fires, robberies, murders, "drugs", international unrest, political wrangling and economic woes of all sorts. If you don't get out in the REAL world, you might (and probably do) think that these terrible things are happening on every street corner. They aren't. Please believe me.
If there is anything I want the reader to take away from this blog and my experiences traveling through this nation, it is that the world is a peaceful place. It is! Granted, there are injustices--the largest of which is the astounding greed of those who have and the profound suffering of those who don't have enough. If we can get our minds around just how prevalent this, and address it at the bottom and personal level, by giving to the ones in our lives who need a helping hand--friends and relatives first, and then strangers, this planet could rise up to the challenge of addressing all other concerns with amazing effectiveness.
Now, for taking that first step, facing fear and using practical ways of killing it...
When I was at the very bottom of my own spiritual garbage can - sitting at North Station in Boston over a year ago, hating myself, being unsure of what I hoped to accomplish with walking away from Maine, nervous, anxious...and...well, honestly, scared shitless - and the tiny voice of, what I now fully recognize as the Spark, said something akin to, "You have no way back, there is only a forward path. Now, WALK IT!" - I raised my head, pulled on my huge backpack, and began to walk it. It was the first step on a new life. I found the nearest exit, a darkened, literal doorway, and heartily pushed my palms against both heavy doors and was reborn in the light that poured over me.
It was raining and cold. There were people all around staring at this strange creature, loaded down with stuff, smirking and pointing. But I made sure to look at them directly in their faces. My muscles became like steel. My pace was locked into a steady and proud strut. My chest heaved in and out with the breath of the Master Spirit of our Universe. And, I was Lit from within. The mark of the beast was gone and replaced with the Light of the Spark. It looked out through my eyes, as I allowed the senses triggered by the world around me to flow back into it. I had become a new creature; one that was unstoppable, unkillable; freshly covered with the shedding placenta of a kind of birth I'd never even heard or read about.
It was my will-decision, acting even before I'd recognized that I'd made the decision, that plowed through my own insecurities and fears. From that day forward I have not felt the constant fear of my former life. I was MEANT to do this, and I KNEW it.
When I met people along the way on that first crossing, they were not able to classify me. They were not able to pigeon-hole me. But, it was not that I didn't fit in. It was that I pulled a new reality behind myself like the wake of a boat, and now they didn't know where they fit in. I was called "crazy" over and over again. After a while though, I discovered that to be as crazy as I was, meant that a brand new and unknown form of sanity must have been bestowed upon me.
I noticed that whenever night would fall, and I stood by the side of the road with cars racing by me in both directions, I confidently comprehended that my place of rest would present itself. And, it ALWAYS did--and still does. Things are much easier for me now. Even when I had to deal with the potential threat of a pack of coyotes the other night, I did not fear. I was filled with adrenalin. My heart was pounding. But the emotion that gripped me was excitement, not fear. If I was worried about anything it was not harm to myself, but having to resort to hurting or even killing a couple of them if they chose to attack. As I discussed though, in the post about this experience, the knowledge I'd acquired kept me balanced, kept my paranoia in check, allowed me to examine the situation very carefully and take the correct steps to neither provoke these animals, nor run away from them.
There should always be a plan for last resorts. I knew I could fight them if I needed to, and I had a larger brain, I had both of my knives ready to go. I'm strong and I'm tough, and I don't back down. I would protect my stuff and my body to the death, a scenario which would have be extremely unlikely. I didn't listen to the parts of myself that flashed mass media headlines at me: "Coyotes Getting Bold!", "Coyotes Attack Child!", "Coyotes snatch pet!", "Coyotes Become Dangerous!"... I tuned into the REAL world reporting of my own experiences.
Nature is a place filled with processes and creature behaviors we have lost touch with, but once knew very well. It was our understanding of nature which allowed us to become the dominant species on earth. Then somewhere along the line, we passed over the line of domination and began destroying the parts of nature with which we'd lost touch.
I am reminded of another possible danger in the woods from the first crossing, that was avoided without bloodshed or injury. I had camped off the road in Missouri, shortly after leaving a long stay in a place of respite with my friend, RhonnaLeigh. It was only the second night back on the road and I didn't know much about the wildlife in that state. If your'e paying attention, you will notice I just mentioned what I didn't know. But, I was well trained at that point not to turn my lack of understanding back into fear.
It was DEAD quiet in that woods, under a pitch black tree cover. Sometime during the night I heard what sounded like thunder, or a train coming toward me. Turned out, it was a large herd of deer, running down a nearby hill, directly at me. In the same way that I stepped back from freaking out just recently, at that time, I centered myself and carefully judged the situation. Standing up or yelling at this onrushing horde would have been ineffective, as they were too loud to hear what was around them. And deer depend on the nighttime for being free from human interference--they were on a mission. Suddenly, the thought popped into my mind that I had a seriously bright LED flashlight. I fished it out, put it on the maximum setting and turned it loose in the direction of the herd. This stopped them, literally in their tracks. They turned and ran off to my side, while the alpha buck gave me a big piece of his mind, rightly stamping and barking angrily before joining them again.
Animals always have something to lose with confrontation. People are a different story of course. A small percentage don't care what they do to you. But, do recall that just as many of these social back-stabbers live and work with you, as the number of literal back-stabbers who walk the dark city streets at night. Before Nashville I had a particularly unsettling night in Memphis, where I was taunted by some street people and actually had a bottle thrown at me by a passing car.
In retrospect, I believe that my own negative and angry attitude (beginning with a rough Greyhound customer service issue earlier) drove these things into the formality of actually occurring. Instead of the positive will-decision becoming an act, the negative will decision (I WANTED to fight) nearly became manifested in the material world, by default.
Trusting that people are good - and they ARE good - can do a great deal of positive ground-laying for potentially dangerous situations. On that night, my anger jeopardized my own safety. Thankfully, instead of being seriously injured as my lesson, I was able to escape only with a lesson given about the power of my own thinking to affect the world around me in such a way that I myself might actually become the victim of other people's actions. And, believe me, it was a VERY effective lesson.
I'm hoping that maybe I've gotten the point across about how instrumental my inner life has been in the things that happen to me on the outside. And, so it is with you, my dear reader.
You have a tremendous Power inside your mind. It is there to build an immortal soul; a form made of a substance that can withstand material death and carry you on into the adventures of an ever-expanding and perfecting eternal career. When you use it for good, it can protect you, teach you, guide you. When you use it for bad, it doesn't do what you want it to do. You cannot be an evil genius and use this Power (the Spark) to do your bidding. It is a one way kind of action. In goodness, it rolls the world out before you like a red carpet, influencing both the Sparks in other people and the material world itself to join with you in a growing harmony. In badness, it allows the negativity of the world to fall in against you. Notice I said "allows". It does not do this to punish you. It simply becomes indifferent to your ill-will, and you lose its influence when you need it most.
You don't have to believe in my terminology - calling this Power, this tool, "the Spark" - but you will see through your own experience that something very similar to what I have described IS going on for you.
The Spark is NOT a person. It has no personality of its own. However, it does possess a will of its own. But its will is subservient to your will, because personality is always more fundamental than the non-personal. The Spark desires nothing more than to become YOU. That is why it is here. Yet, it contains infinite amounts of information. And, who wouldn't like access to infinite information? You (even if you don't know it) desire its abilities, and access to this information. Some day you and It will fuse into a brand new being.
Selfishness, hatred, jealousy, uncontrolled anger, and, yes... maybe, especially... FEAR, negate the functioning of this precious tool, this gift of the Universe. Get to know your Spark (or whatever you want to call it), and you will kill fear. Master this process, and you will keep fear dead. That is my un-asked for, but inspired advice for you, my friends.
Ninety-nine percent of the world doesn't understand this yet. And, we bungle along, tripping over ourselves and blaming it on other people. But we WILL learn. You can learn right now!
I'm a tiny aspect of the wave, nay, the TIDE that is coming in. My role in this will be forgotten. But, for my friends who have the open minds to see what I mean, a vast and sprawling vista of new experiences is but one thought away; one will-decision away. It leads away from fear and into a future of Light and Life.
I'm not very good at giving, but I am trying to become better. I have will-decided to give my life to this project, to you and for you, in addition to it being for myself. And, a great man once said...
THAT is my Will. May it never stop being expressed........
Fear in society is a carefully and willfully sustained state and method of ruling the masses. If you suffer from OCD, for example, it is very likely a result of early childhood influence, by parents who were also fearful. Arachnophobia - as I also recently addressed - is another example of irrational fear. Being afraid of the dark, being afraid of random violence, being afraid wild animals, being afraid of crowded areas, being afraid of isolation...just being afraid... It is all irrational.
The Universe is NOT an aggressive place that doesn't care about you. The people and the beasts who inhabit it are not out to get you. I know this, because I have been to these dark places that I thought were so dangerous. I've met these people and they are just people--not monsters. Animals too, in general, don't want to hurt you, poison you or eat you. They just want to survive. In most cases (95%?), they want nothing to do with you at all!
Everything is so hyped up in the mass media. They don't bring you reports about the guy who drove to work, had a nice lunch with his coworkers and then bought a pizza for the kids on the way home, for a pleasant evening of watching movies together. It is car crashes, fires, robberies, murders, "drugs", international unrest, political wrangling and economic woes of all sorts. If you don't get out in the REAL world, you might (and probably do) think that these terrible things are happening on every street corner. They aren't. Please believe me.
If there is anything I want the reader to take away from this blog and my experiences traveling through this nation, it is that the world is a peaceful place. It is! Granted, there are injustices--the largest of which is the astounding greed of those who have and the profound suffering of those who don't have enough. If we can get our minds around just how prevalent this, and address it at the bottom and personal level, by giving to the ones in our lives who need a helping hand--friends and relatives first, and then strangers, this planet could rise up to the challenge of addressing all other concerns with amazing effectiveness.
Now, for taking that first step, facing fear and using practical ways of killing it...
When I was at the very bottom of my own spiritual garbage can - sitting at North Station in Boston over a year ago, hating myself, being unsure of what I hoped to accomplish with walking away from Maine, nervous, anxious...and...well, honestly, scared shitless - and the tiny voice of, what I now fully recognize as the Spark, said something akin to, "You have no way back, there is only a forward path. Now, WALK IT!" - I raised my head, pulled on my huge backpack, and began to walk it. It was the first step on a new life. I found the nearest exit, a darkened, literal doorway, and heartily pushed my palms against both heavy doors and was reborn in the light that poured over me.
It was raining and cold. There were people all around staring at this strange creature, loaded down with stuff, smirking and pointing. But I made sure to look at them directly in their faces. My muscles became like steel. My pace was locked into a steady and proud strut. My chest heaved in and out with the breath of the Master Spirit of our Universe. And, I was Lit from within. The mark of the beast was gone and replaced with the Light of the Spark. It looked out through my eyes, as I allowed the senses triggered by the world around me to flow back into it. I had become a new creature; one that was unstoppable, unkillable; freshly covered with the shedding placenta of a kind of birth I'd never even heard or read about.
It was my will-decision, acting even before I'd recognized that I'd made the decision, that plowed through my own insecurities and fears. From that day forward I have not felt the constant fear of my former life. I was MEANT to do this, and I KNEW it.
When I met people along the way on that first crossing, they were not able to classify me. They were not able to pigeon-hole me. But, it was not that I didn't fit in. It was that I pulled a new reality behind myself like the wake of a boat, and now they didn't know where they fit in. I was called "crazy" over and over again. After a while though, I discovered that to be as crazy as I was, meant that a brand new and unknown form of sanity must have been bestowed upon me.
I noticed that whenever night would fall, and I stood by the side of the road with cars racing by me in both directions, I confidently comprehended that my place of rest would present itself. And, it ALWAYS did--and still does. Things are much easier for me now. Even when I had to deal with the potential threat of a pack of coyotes the other night, I did not fear. I was filled with adrenalin. My heart was pounding. But the emotion that gripped me was excitement, not fear. If I was worried about anything it was not harm to myself, but having to resort to hurting or even killing a couple of them if they chose to attack. As I discussed though, in the post about this experience, the knowledge I'd acquired kept me balanced, kept my paranoia in check, allowed me to examine the situation very carefully and take the correct steps to neither provoke these animals, nor run away from them.
There should always be a plan for last resorts. I knew I could fight them if I needed to, and I had a larger brain, I had both of my knives ready to go. I'm strong and I'm tough, and I don't back down. I would protect my stuff and my body to the death, a scenario which would have be extremely unlikely. I didn't listen to the parts of myself that flashed mass media headlines at me: "Coyotes Getting Bold!", "Coyotes Attack Child!", "Coyotes snatch pet!", "Coyotes Become Dangerous!"... I tuned into the REAL world reporting of my own experiences.
Nature is a place filled with processes and creature behaviors we have lost touch with, but once knew very well. It was our understanding of nature which allowed us to become the dominant species on earth. Then somewhere along the line, we passed over the line of domination and began destroying the parts of nature with which we'd lost touch.
I am reminded of another possible danger in the woods from the first crossing, that was avoided without bloodshed or injury. I had camped off the road in Missouri, shortly after leaving a long stay in a place of respite with my friend, RhonnaLeigh. It was only the second night back on the road and I didn't know much about the wildlife in that state. If your'e paying attention, you will notice I just mentioned what I didn't know. But, I was well trained at that point not to turn my lack of understanding back into fear.
It was DEAD quiet in that woods, under a pitch black tree cover. Sometime during the night I heard what sounded like thunder, or a train coming toward me. Turned out, it was a large herd of deer, running down a nearby hill, directly at me. In the same way that I stepped back from freaking out just recently, at that time, I centered myself and carefully judged the situation. Standing up or yelling at this onrushing horde would have been ineffective, as they were too loud to hear what was around them. And deer depend on the nighttime for being free from human interference--they were on a mission. Suddenly, the thought popped into my mind that I had a seriously bright LED flashlight. I fished it out, put it on the maximum setting and turned it loose in the direction of the herd. This stopped them, literally in their tracks. They turned and ran off to my side, while the alpha buck gave me a big piece of his mind, rightly stamping and barking angrily before joining them again.
Animals always have something to lose with confrontation. People are a different story of course. A small percentage don't care what they do to you. But, do recall that just as many of these social back-stabbers live and work with you, as the number of literal back-stabbers who walk the dark city streets at night. Before Nashville I had a particularly unsettling night in Memphis, where I was taunted by some street people and actually had a bottle thrown at me by a passing car.
In retrospect, I believe that my own negative and angry attitude (beginning with a rough Greyhound customer service issue earlier) drove these things into the formality of actually occurring. Instead of the positive will-decision becoming an act, the negative will decision (I WANTED to fight) nearly became manifested in the material world, by default.
Trusting that people are good - and they ARE good - can do a great deal of positive ground-laying for potentially dangerous situations. On that night, my anger jeopardized my own safety. Thankfully, instead of being seriously injured as my lesson, I was able to escape only with a lesson given about the power of my own thinking to affect the world around me in such a way that I myself might actually become the victim of other people's actions. And, believe me, it was a VERY effective lesson.
I'm hoping that maybe I've gotten the point across about how instrumental my inner life has been in the things that happen to me on the outside. And, so it is with you, my dear reader.
You have a tremendous Power inside your mind. It is there to build an immortal soul; a form made of a substance that can withstand material death and carry you on into the adventures of an ever-expanding and perfecting eternal career. When you use it for good, it can protect you, teach you, guide you. When you use it for bad, it doesn't do what you want it to do. You cannot be an evil genius and use this Power (the Spark) to do your bidding. It is a one way kind of action. In goodness, it rolls the world out before you like a red carpet, influencing both the Sparks in other people and the material world itself to join with you in a growing harmony. In badness, it allows the negativity of the world to fall in against you. Notice I said "allows". It does not do this to punish you. It simply becomes indifferent to your ill-will, and you lose its influence when you need it most.
You don't have to believe in my terminology - calling this Power, this tool, "the Spark" - but you will see through your own experience that something very similar to what I have described IS going on for you.
The Spark is NOT a person. It has no personality of its own. However, it does possess a will of its own. But its will is subservient to your will, because personality is always more fundamental than the non-personal. The Spark desires nothing more than to become YOU. That is why it is here. Yet, it contains infinite amounts of information. And, who wouldn't like access to infinite information? You (even if you don't know it) desire its abilities, and access to this information. Some day you and It will fuse into a brand new being.
Selfishness, hatred, jealousy, uncontrolled anger, and, yes... maybe, especially... FEAR, negate the functioning of this precious tool, this gift of the Universe. Get to know your Spark (or whatever you want to call it), and you will kill fear. Master this process, and you will keep fear dead. That is my un-asked for, but inspired advice for you, my friends.
Ninety-nine percent of the world doesn't understand this yet. And, we bungle along, tripping over ourselves and blaming it on other people. But we WILL learn. You can learn right now!
I'm a tiny aspect of the wave, nay, the TIDE that is coming in. My role in this will be forgotten. But, for my friends who have the open minds to see what I mean, a vast and sprawling vista of new experiences is but one thought away; one will-decision away. It leads away from fear and into a future of Light and Life.
I'm not very good at giving, but I am trying to become better. I have will-decided to give my life to this project, to you and for you, in addition to it being for myself. And, a great man once said...
No one can have greater love than to give his life for his friends.
* * * * * * *
I wrote up and published my dream and coyote post. Then I headed back to my sleep spot...
A panorama of Broadway at night.
I set up the tent and fell asleep, and into a spinning, buzzing and delicious world, thick with dreams.
Got a Big Bookkeeping assignment so haven't read YOU for some time, Alex. Gotta go, but the bit i read here was very Good!! --ell
ReplyDeleteThanks, Ellen! Glad you have the assignment! I'm sure they appreciate having you. :-)
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